Parents Letting Go: Effectively Launching Your Millennial

How can we as parents manage the process of letting go in love so that our young adult has the best chance to move toward healthy emotional and behavioral independence?

Parents Letting Go provides counseling and resources for parents of adult children. Dr. Jack Stoltzfus’ mission is to provide help to parents of young adults in the process of letting go and launching their young adult children. Managing this push and pull process by both parents and young adults has become more complicated and challenging.

Both parties are taking longer to say goodbye. Parents and their young adult children are closer these days than past generations. But this often strains the letting go process. According to an article in Psychology Today, more than half of children ages 18-24 live with their parents. Living at home is now the number one living arrangement for young adults between the ages of 18-34 (US Census Bureau).

Counseling and educational resources for parents of adult children can be difficult to find. Parents Letting Go is a growing resource for all the issues parents face with adult children. Whether it’s a failure to launch, communication gaps, or information on how to handle disagreements, Parents Letting Go has it covered.

Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus


Click on the link below to read a Star Tribune featured article Adult children still living at home? How families can address ‘failure to launch’ by Dr. Stoltzfus:

Star Tribune


  • My husband and I worked with Dr. Jack Stoltzfus on helping us learn to “Let go” with our adult son. Dr. Jack is empathetic and an open, excellent communicator. He has developed very useful tools and ideas on how to help parents learn to unconditionally love your child while developing some “backbone” to help your young adult launch and thrive, so they are able to live an independent life. With his guidance and working together with our son, we developed a “framework” to help manage expectations and goal setting. Any parent who is struggling to let go of their young adult and help them “launch” would benefit from Dr. Jack’s knowledge and experience; whether it be 1:1 sessions or reading some of the numerous books he has published.
    A Grateful Parent
  • Look no further for advice if you are a parent, step-parent or grandparent of a child of ANY age. Dr. Stoltzfus's website, blog and consultation service for parents alike is not only exceptional, but down to earth and practical. Whether you are experiencing normal behavioral issues, situational issues or just need a fact based brush-up on parenting 101, Dr. Stoltzfus's no nonsense approach to parenting will either better prepare you or put you back in the driver's seat. Highly recommended, highly responsive and highly effective!
  • Jack Stoltzfus, Ph.D., combines his depth of clinical training with a lifelong passion to help parents and their young adult children get it right. In this time when our kids seem so different than we were, and we want to do it differently than our parents did, Dr. Stoltzfus masterfully offers 'on-the-nose' insights to deepen understanding, and practical, easy to use tools to ensure we skillfully help launch our young adults, while maintaining that base of unconditional love. No easy task and he does it beautifully!
    Katherine M. Curran
  • Based on my experience, there are all sorts of complications with communication and engaging young adults in divorced families. I have observed that while one parent may strive to help the young adult become independent, the other may not.
    Parent in a blended family
  • The  millennial”ese” quiz is engaging and helps people to become more involved, invested in the reading.
    Statement by a very tech savvy parent
  • I LOVE the 10 interview questions!! I think if a parent could get honest answers from their young adult, the relationship would be half way home.  They really resonated with me and made me wonder (again), “How would my own adult children answer these?”
    Concerned Parent
  • Knowing you’re not alone with the challenges of letting go was really helpful.
    Mother attending a Parents Letting Go Workshop
  • I really appreciated the questions and guidance given to facilitate the parent’s relationship with their children, I found myself wanting to use some of this information in a session with a client.
    Therapist who read Love to Let Go e-book
  • I’m often struck with the notion that both children and parents are hardwired for a relationship of unconditional love. It is often (usually?) the parent that messes up first. But love can be restored and relationships healed, if we are willing to take risks.
    Mother of two young adults
  • The idea of unconditional love should actually be taught BEFORE the child comes or early in his/her life. Maybe the rest would take care of itself.
    Parent attending a workshop on Parents Letting Go

From the Blog

Parents of Young Adults: Why We Suffer

“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ” ― Elizabeth Stone The mother of a nineteen-year-old sits in my office sobbing and wondering how her Eagle Scout son has ended up with a warrant for his arrest, […]

Is Your Young Adult Living at Home? If so, You Have a Roommate!

When a young adult is living with parents for any reason, it’s especially important to establish expectations and guidelines. In such situations, I ask parents to be clear, in writing, the benefits available to the young adult living at home. Some parents delineate these benefits in much more specific terms than room and board. They […]

My Young Adult has Anxiety or Depression & I’m Afraid to Show Backbone

When challenged to show backbone with a young adult who is anxious or depressed, one of the common parental assumptions is that this could make things worse or push them over the edge. Many young adults I see are not in that category but seem paralyzed or stuck in moving ahead with their lives. This […]