Interviews

Do you remember when your young adult was a child and had a school assignment to interview you about your interests or your past? Well, turnabout is fair play. The interview process is something that I use in my Parents Letting Go workshops. It enables parents, open to nonjudgmental listening, an opportunity to learn more about their young adult and build a closer relationship. One participant said: ‘The interview questions and process were worth the price and time of the entire workshop.” This parent found that the structured interview opened the door to a closer and more meaningful relationship with her son. It can do the same for you. The interview questions will help you use the six practices that parents need to employ to facilitate the launch process. The first set of interview questions associated with the book “Can You Speak Millennial”ese?” is more general and can lead to a better understanding of your young adult. Understanding is the first practice parents need to strengthen. Use a structured interview process to do the following:

• Build and deepen the relationship with your young adult
• Increase an understanding of your young adult
• Practice engaging your young adult through nonjudgmental listening
• Model and begin a process of sharing that can carry over to other subjects and occasions

You may have reservations about using an interview process and question whether your young adult will be willing to be interviewed. If you have a history of questioning, interrupting, or overreacting when you hear something you dislike from your young adult, the interview process may be difficult for both of you.  Your ability to listen in a nonjudgemental way in the spirit of learning about your young adult is critical.  Approach this as if you are a reporter gathering information to better learn about your young adult.   Check from time to time to be sure you are understanding your young adult.  Avoid criticism, challenging their view, defensiveness and inserting your opinion. On these different interview forms you might want to try to answer the questions the way you think your young adult might answer them by taking the self-test. Then interview your young adult to see how well you were able to predict their answers. You can get more help and information on how to use the interview process, how to demonstrate nonjudgmental listening, and how to deal with resistance to your efforts to connect with and get to know your young adult in the eBook Can You Speak Millennial “ese”, available here.