• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Reach Dr. Jack at: 651-486-0122 ext 2

   

Parents Letting Go | Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

Parents Letting Go | Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

Family Behavioral Healthcare

  • Home
  • About
    • About “Parents Letting Go”
    • About Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
    • Testimonials
  • Products
    • Practice Books
    • Parent Consultation Service
    • Family, Individual & Couples Therapy
  • Resources
    • Quizzes
    • Interviews
    • Tip Sheets
    • Annotated Bibliography
    • Research
    • Video Presentations
    • Young Adult Resources
    • Other Resources
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • Newsletter Sign-up
  • Leave a Review

The Unconditional Love Debate

December 11, 2018 by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

Shouldn’t the Young Adult Express Love Unconditionally to the Parent as Much as the Parent Should Express this to the Young Adult?

Ideally, the young adult should reciprocate the love that the parent expresses to them. But the reality is that the young adult may not choose to do so. The young adult may want to hold onto anger and resentment toward the parent because they believe they have been harmed emotionally or otherwise. In such cases, they remain negatively fused to the parent. Their anger keeps them connected in a negative and reactive way as much as the dependent young adult is connected in an unhealthy submissive way.

There is Hope

Because relationships are inherently reciprocal, we get back what we put out. The hope is that over time your persistence in loving your young adult unconditionally will melt away the coldness, anger, and defensiveness. This is one of the toughest tests of a parent’s love: to persist in the face of rejection, anger, and blame. Can you do it as a parent? Yes! Is it painfully difficult? Yes!

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Licensed Psychologist at Parents Letting Go
Dr. Stoltzfus’ mission is to provide information, education, guidance and resources to parents of young adults who are struggling to launch or let go while maintaining a positive, caring relationship with their young adult.
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Latest posts by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus (see all)
  • Are You Helicopter Parenting Your Young Adult? - March 17, 2023
  • To Fund or Not to Fund Your Young Adult - March 9, 2023
  • Teaching a Child How to Ride a Bicycle - March 2, 2023
Recommend this to a friend:

Category iconLove Tag iconfamily love,  unconditional love

Primary Sidebar

Contact Dr. Jack

    Sign up for Our Newsletter

    Articles By Category

    • Apology
    • Backbone
    • Communication
    • Coping with Coronavirus
    • Counseling
    • Failure to Launch
    • Forgiveness
    • Letting Go
    • Love
    • Millennial
    • Mindset
    • Parent Self Care
    • Partnered Young Adults
    • Research
    • Resources
    • Six Parental Practices
    • Understanding

    Tags

    affection apologize apologizing apology approval communication coronavirus covid covid-19 estrangement failure to launch family love feedforward forgiveness good cop holiday holidays lazy lazy adult letting go listening living at home love love and backbone millennial millennials millennial speak move home opioids parental apology parental estrangement parenting parenting tips parents Parents Letting Go quarantine quiz report card research survey therapy unconditional love workshop young adult young adults
    Are You a Parent with Backbone?

    Take the Quiz to Find Out!


    Take Quiz

    Footer

    Contact Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

    America’s Launch Coach

    Phone: 651-486-0122 ext 2

    Email: drjackstoltzfus@yahoo.com

    521 Tanglewood Drive
    Shoreview, MN 55126

    Links

    • Disclaimer and User Agreement
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms and Conditions

    Sign Up for Our Newsletter

       

    Copyright © 2023 Parents Letting Go