• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Reach Dr. Jack at: 651-486-0122 ext 2

   

Parents Letting Go | Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

Parents Letting Go | Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

Family Behavioral Healthcare

  • Home
  • About
    • About “Parents Letting Go”
    • About Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
    • Testimonials
  • Products
    • Practice Books
    • Parent Consultation Service
    • Family, Individual & Couples Therapy
  • Resources
    • Quizzes
    • Interviews
    • Tip Sheets
    • Annotated Bibliography
    • Research
    • Video Presentations
    • Young Adult Resources
    • Other Resources
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • Newsletter Sign-up
  • Leave a Review

What Do You Do When Your Young Adult Wants To Move Back Home?

November 20, 2018 by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

When your Young Adult Leaves Home, Should you Let them Come Back?

My experience is that it’s best to support a one-way ticket when leaving home. There are circumstances where a transition back home can be helpful for the young adult and in some cases for the parent. In the former case, sometimes a young adult needs a transition period to another job, another apartment, or as in the case of my youngest daughter a move back home to save money and prepare for marriage. In such cases, it’s important to establish a timeline for this transition and hold the young adult accountable to meet it.

In the latter case, there may be a circumstance where a parent is ill or disabled and the young adult moves back during this recuperation period. There are no hard and fast rules. If both parties are comfortable with the arrangement and the young adult is functioning as an independent young adult—job, paying, rent, covering expenses, and helping with food costs and upkeep of the house, I’m not sure this is a problem. A young adult can be fully emancipated and demonstrating emotional maturity and independence even though that young adult is living at home. In other cultures, there may be three generations living in the same house. I think we have to be careful about being judgmental of ourselves or others who may have a young adult living at home.

Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if living at home is appropriate for your young adult.

  1. Do you and your young adult get along?
  2. Is the young adult self-sufficient: job, car, and so forth?
  3. Is the young adult contributing to the household: rent, cleaning, cooking, and so forth?
  4. Does the young adult demonstrate progress in establishing their separate identity, their independence, and their intimacy needs?
  5. Are you as parents okay with the arrangement or do you wish to obtain or regain your empty nest privacy? Although we are a child-centered society, it’s okay for the parents’ desires for privacy to be a basis for a young adult to move on.
  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Licensed Psychologist at Parents Letting Go
Dr. Stoltzfus’ mission is to provide information, education, guidance and resources to parents of young adults who are struggling to launch or let go while maintaining a positive, caring relationship with their young adult.
Dr. Jack Stoltzfus
Latest posts by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus (see all)
  • 4 Parenting Myths That Cause Self-Inflicted Pain & Suffering - January 8, 2023
  • Are Our Young Men Are at Risk of Becoming NILFs? - November 18, 2022
  • What’s Right With Twenty-Somethings? - September 16, 2022
Recommend this to a friend:

Category iconBackbone,  Failure to Launch Tag iconliving at home,  move home

Primary Sidebar

Contact Dr. Jack

    Sign up for Our Newsletter

    Articles By Category

    • Apology
    • Backbone
    • Communication
    • Coping with Coronavirus
    • Counseling
    • Failure to Launch
    • Forgiveness
    • Letting Go
    • Love
    • Millennial
    • Mindset
    • Parent Self Care
    • Research
    • Resources
    • Six Parental Practices
    • Understanding

    Tags

    affection apologize apologizing apology approval communication coronavirus covid covid-19 estrangement failure to launch family love feedforward forgiveness good cop holiday holidays lazy lazy adult letting go listening living at home love love and backbone millennial millennials millennial speak move home opioids parental apology parental estrangement parenting parenting tips parents Parents Letting Go quarantine quiz report card research survey therapy unconditional love workshop young adult young adults
    Are You a Parent with Backbone?

    Take the Quiz to Find Out!


    Take Quiz

    Footer

    Contact Dr. Jack Stoltzfus

    America’s Launch Coach

    Phone: 651-486-0122 ext 2

    Email: drjackstoltzfus@yahoo.com

    521 Tanglewood Drive
    Shoreview, MN 55126

    Links

    • Disclaimer and User Agreement
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms and Conditions

    Sign Up for Our Newsletter

       

    Copyright © 2023 Parents Letting Go