Graduation season has a way of sneaking up on us. One day, you’re signing permission slips. The next, you’re watching your young adult cross a stage and wondering how you’re supposed to feel. Proud, yes. But maybe also a little anxious. A little unsure of what comes next for both of you. This is one of the necessary transition opportunities to let go and say goodbye.
Here’s something I’ve seen make a lasting difference for families during this season:
Write it Out
Not a text. Not a card with someone else’s words printed inside. Your words from the heart. Your handwriting. A letter to your son or daughter that says what you actually feel — how much you love them, what gifts and qualities you see in them, and what you hope for their future. It doesn’t have to be long. It doesn’t have to be perfectly written. It has to be yours. I’ve had young adults tell me (sometimes years later) that a handwritten letter from a parent was the thing they held onto when they faced tough times. Not because it solved anything. But it reminded them that someone believed in them unconditionally. That’s not a small thing. That’s a lifeline.
So, if your young adult has a graduation coming up, or is leaving home for the service or other reasons, I want to invite you to consider this gift. I have kept letters from my mother in her later years, when her writing was somewhat shaky, but I know they were her hand. A keepsake, a source of security they can hold onto. Proof, in your own handwriting, that your love has never been conditional on their performance, their choices, or how this launch unfolds. Here’s a way to start the letter:
“There is nothing you could ever do that would make me stop loving you.”
Oh, and a reminder: keep a copy in case they misplace it and ask you for it in the future.
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